Article 2 - The Pitfalls of Online Relationships
Searching for Your Mate
The search for your mate can be a trying
and tiring process. Doubt can flood your path at any step of the way.
After months of seeking and seemingly not making any progress, even
the most confident Christian can start to lose hope. You may start to
wonder if God even wants you to get married at all. There were times
when I believed that perhaps marital bliss was for everyone but me.
One of the most valuable lessons I learned during my search for a husband was that I had to be prepared for the possibility that God did not include marriage in His plan for my life. God gently reminded me over and over again that He would always be with me and He was all I needed. A husband could not cure loneliness and satisfy all of my needs because that is something that only God can do.
Another worthwhile lesson learned was that I could not compare myself to others. For one thing, this lead to negative ways of thinking about myself and my worth as a potential mate. I was constantly reminded through scripture that envy is wrong and that God gives as He sees fit. The only thing that I should be earnestly seeking is God’s plan for MY life, even if that means being called to a single life.
If you are searching for God’s will in your life regarding marriage, don’t stop praying about it. God will give you an answer in His time. Whenever you feel discouraged or impatient, call on God and draw even closer to Him. Always be listening for His voice to guide you and be sure to follow it when He speaks. In matters of character judgement and suitability of a potential mate I have avoided making decisions that could have caused me a lifetime of unhappiness by diligently listening for God’s direction and accepting His guidance even when it went against my will.
God has chosen to bless me with a wonderful
husband and we know that we were designed for each other in His plan
for our lives. God is good and He knows our needs and the desires of
our hearts. Trust Him with your life, whether it includes marriage or
not, and you will never be disappointed. 
The Pitfalls of Online Relationships
Many single Christians join sites such as these
because they are a "safe" way to interact with other single
Christians. Perhaps they have been hurt in a past relationship, whether
that was an online or in-person relationship. Even as Christians, we
tend to wear masks when we are online. We hide some of the negative
things about ourselves. In order to really get to know someone, you
have to meet that person "in person". Although each relationship
is different, here are a few suggestions to help avoid problems that
occur with long-term online relationships. 1) Use a site such as this
one or any other Christian site to find someone in your area if possible,
who you are interested in. Email the individual and see if you have
some common interests. 2) After you feel comfortable emailing the individual,
ask if they want to talk via a chat program. Chatting is a good way
to see how things go when there is little time to think about your responses.
Unlike an email where you could spend all day thinking about what you
want to write. This may or may not be an accurate representation of
the real you. 3) If chatting goes well and you have built up a trust
with someone, ask for the person's telephone number. Talking on the
telephone is even better than chat programs because it really tests
how well you can communicate with the other person. 4) After talking
on the telephone and building up your interests and trust for the other
person, decide to meet in a public place, preferably with friends. Now
you can really see this person face-to-face and decide where you want
to take the relationship from there.
